Big blue eyes look up at me with their sweet innocence. These eyes are the reason I am still breathing. They are the reason I have shut the door to the past and walked into the future; a new beginning.
New: experiencing for the first time
Beginning: the point in time or space at which something starts
I am experiencing for the first time a point in my life where love is seen in a human being; my daughter. I am a mother. Given responsibility over a life; the most important responsibility anyone can be given. This is more than a responsibility though, this is a purpose. And I have been blessed with this purpose.
I seem to have matured overnight. Not just my attitude but my spirit. Only a master creator could have made such perfection. Yes, my husband and I put the work in (moreso fun), and I carried her for 41 weeks while she grew and developed but all by the grace of God. With my past and track record for being a mother, only His grace gave me another chance to be this little girl’s mother. Not to mention the past my husband carries with him. We are proof of God’s grace and love. Proof that people are reborn and renewed with Christ. Proof that the past can be left behind and a new life made with all the successes and goals achieved. The spirit reborn to live a life with purpose and the mind renewed and set to think on positive things from above. No matter how deep down we were now we are higher than any drugs ever took us, and loving every minute of it, even the middle of the night dirty diapers and 3 hours of sleep at a time. The spit stained favorite shirt and rocking, bouncing, swaying dance. Because with the seemingly endless crying comes the sweet coos and big smiles; the cuddles and little hands attached to that favorite shirt or around our finger; watching and experiencing all the firsts; splashes in the bath and falling asleep on our chest.
I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything.on the face of the planet. These are priceless memories I will have forever.
God knows what He was doing when He sent my little angel from heaven. He knew I would run to Him and rely solely on His guidance, strength, and patience (among many other things) to be the mother my daughter needs. I have no doubt I am the best mother for her though, since God ordained my family to be together. Just like my husband and I are meant to be married, we are also meant to be parents to our child. Nothing happens by mistake. There is no coincidence and when we think something is, we just don’t see where the meaning belongs. God has made it a point to show Himself through “random” people who enter my path, “random” things I hear and see, and the “random” events that happen. My faith is growing each and every day.
This is not a new chapter in my life. This is a new book; the first book of a new series.
I’ve left the past where it belongs; behind me in yesterday. Each moment of each day is new and an opportunity to move forward. All my old habits, as hard as they were to quit, are just that-old. I am a woman of a new time.
Same body; different spirit. .
Only with God’s guidance will I stay the course moving forward, leaving and keeping behind the past habits that got me to this point. I made it this far, but I plan to go further and in order to do that I must mature and change my ways to align with where I wish to end. I’ve found all the answers in the Big Book (no, not the big book for AA) and am applying it to my life, watching it’s marvelous power work wonders in my life.
This way of life is so simply it doesn’t make sense how it is working. But it is not my job to figure out how it works. All I need to know is that it does work, and use it the way it is intended. Since I am reborn I must renew my mind learning how to live life the way the Bible teaches. Jesus is the word made flesh, hence the Bible is Jesus put into words. I am beginning to hear Him as I read and the Holy Spirit is filling me, making me whole for the first time.
This is the only way to live.
My old way of living was not living. I was dead; following my sinful nature, living by the way of my flesh, following the world.
Accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior when He died on the cross so MY sins would be forgiven and now I have everlasting life in the heavenly Kingdom with my Father, God Almighty. Then my Savior defeated death, just as accepting Him has resurrected me from death. I am no longer bound by the chains of my sinful nature in my flesh, but am reborn with the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, flowing within me, guiding my life.
I am more than a new mother.
I am a child of God. I am reborn in Jesus name.
I am A New Beginning